Is It Selfish to Have a Baby at 40? Understanding Late Motherhood

The question “Is it selfish to have a baby at 40?” reveals the complex societal pressures and personal doubts many women face when considering pregnancy later in life. The direct answer is no—having a baby at 40 is not selfish. It’s a deeply personal decision that depends on your unique circumstances, health, readiness, and desires. Thousands of healthy women in their 40s give birth to healthy babies every year, and the trend toward later motherhood continues to grow worldwide.

The conversation around maternal age has shifted dramatically over recent decades. Where previous generations often completed their families by age 30, modern women increasingly delay parenthood to establish careers, achieve financial stability, find the right partner, or simply wait until they feel genuinely ready for the profound commitment of raising a child. According to recent data, birth rates for women in their early 40s increased from 4% to 7.4% between 2015 and 2016, reflecting a significant cultural shift in family planning timelines.

While pregnancy after 40 is medically classified as “advanced maternal age” and carries certain elevated risks, advances in fertility treatment, prenatal care, pregnancy monitoring, and neonatal medicine have made later pregnancies safer and more successful than ever before. Understanding both the advantages and challenges of having a baby at 40 empowers you to make informed decisions based on evidence rather than fear or judgment.

This comprehensive guide explores the benefits of later motherhood, the medical risks to understand, practical strategies for healthy pregnancy at 40, and the emotional and financial considerations that make this such a personal choice. Whether you’re actively trying to conceive, considering future pregnancy, or simply curious about your options, this article provides the balanced perspective you need.

Why the “Selfish” Label Is Fundamentally Flawed

Before diving into specifics, it’s worth addressing why the “selfish” framing itself is problematic. The question presupposes that women owe society or their future children certain timing decisions about reproduction—an expectation rarely placed on men considering fatherhood at any age.

Parenthood timing involves countless variables including financial readiness, relationship stability, career considerations, housing security, mental health, physical health, and personal readiness. Dismissing these legitimate considerations as “selfish” diminishes the thoughtfulness many women bring to family planning decisions.

The very fact that you’re asking this question likely indicates you’re carefully weighing how your age might affect your future child—hardly a selfish consideration. In reality, choosing to wait until you’re financially secure, emotionally mature, and genuinely prepared for parenthood often benefits children more than rushing into parenthood when unprepared simply to meet societal age expectations.

Understanding Advanced Maternal Age

Medical literature defines advanced maternal age as pregnancy occurring at 35 years or older. This clinical term doesn’t mean pregnancy is dangerous or inadvisable at these ages—rather, it indicates that certain risks increase statistically compared to pregnancies in the 20s and early 30s.

Context matters significantly when interpreting these statistics. A healthy, active 40-year-old without chronic conditions faces different risks than a 40-year-old with diabetes, hypertension, or other health complications. Individual health status, lifestyle factors, and access to quality prenatal care often matter more than age alone.

The 35-year threshold originated from historical data when maternal and fetal medicine was far less advanced than today. Modern prenatal screening, monitoring technology, and obstetric care have dramatically improved outcomes for pregnancies at all ages. While age-related risks remain real, they exist within a healthcare context far more equipped to manage them than when the “advanced maternal age” designation was established.

Five Significant Advantages of Motherhood at 40

Despite valid medical considerations, becoming a mother at 40 offers numerous advantages that often go overlooked in discussions focused exclusively on risks. Understanding these benefits provides a more balanced perspective on later motherhood.

1. Financial Stability and Security

Financial pressure represents one of the most significant stressors for new parents. Raising a child from birth through age 18 costs an average of $233,610 according to USDA estimates, not including college expenses. This staggering figure doesn’t even account for potential income loss from parental leave or reduced work hours during early childhood.

Women in their 40s typically occupy a dramatically different financial position than they did in their 20s. By age 40, most people have:

• Eliminated major debts including student loans and potentially mortgages
• Established career advancement leading to higher salaries and better benefits
• Built emergency savings providing financial cushions for unexpected expenses
• Secured better health insurance often with lower deductibles and better coverage
• Developed financial management skills from years of budgeting and planning

This financial foundation means less stress about affording diapers, childcare, medical expenses, and the countless costs that accompany child-rearing. You can potentially afford higher-quality childcare, comfortable housing with adequate space, reliable transportation, and resources like extracurricular activities that enrich your child’s development.

The ability to take parental leave without financial devastation, hire help when needed, and provide for your child’s needs without constant anxiety represents a genuine quality-of-life advantage for both parents and children.

2. Emotional Maturity and Life Experience

The personal growth that occurs between ages 25 and 40 is profound. Emotional regulation, self-awareness, and perspective typically improve dramatically through these years of life experience, relationship navigation, career challenges, and personal development.

Older mothers often report feeling more patient, less reactive to minor issues, and better equipped to maintain calm during the inevitable chaos of early parenthood. The anxiety and insecurity that characterize many young parents’ experiences often diminish with age and experience.

Life experience provides perspective on what truly matters. You’ve likely weathered various challenges, setbacks, and triumphs that taught you resilience and adaptability—qualities that serve parents extremely well. The confidence to trust your instincts rather than constantly second-guessing every parenting decision reduces stress and helps you enjoy parenting more fully.

Many women in their 40s report feeling more comfortable setting boundaries, asking for help when needed, and prioritizing their own wellbeing alongside their children’s needs—all factors that contribute to healthier family dynamics and reduced parental burnout.

3. Relationship Stability

While certainly not universal, many women in their 40s have either established long-term stable partnerships or developed clear understanding of their needs in relationships. If you’re parenting with a partner, the additional years together before having children often mean:

• Better communication patterns developed through navigating challenges together
• Clearer division of labor based on understanding each other’s strengths and preferences
• Shared values and parenting philosophies discussed and aligned before children arrive
• Financial planning done jointly with realistic expectations about costs and sacrifices
• Stronger conflict resolution skills that help manage parenting disagreements constructively

For single mothers by choice, the decision to parent solo at 40 often comes from a place of intentionality and preparedness rather than circumstance. Many women at this age have considered the challenges, arranged support systems, and ensured financial capacity to parent independently.

4. Access to Experienced Parent Networks

By age 40, many of your peers have already navigated pregnancy, infancy, toddlerhood, and early childhood. This means access to a wealth of practical, current parenting advice from people you trust and who understand modern parenting contexts.

Unlike advice from parents or grandparents that may feel outdated or disconnected from current realities (car seat recommendations, screen time debates, feeding practices have all evolved), advice from peers who recently navigated similar challenges feels immediately relevant and applicable.

Your friend group likely includes parents who can:

• Recommend excellent pediatricians, childcare providers, and parenting resources
• Provide hand-me-down baby gear, reducing startup costs
• Offer realistic expectations about parenting challenges and rewards
• Provide emotional support during difficult phases
• Share honest insights about work-life balance and relationship changes

This built-in support network is invaluable during the overwhelming early months of parenthood when you’re operating on limited sleep and facing constant new decisions.

5. Enhanced Motivation for Health and Longevity

Becoming a parent at 40 often triggers increased attention to health, wellness, and longevity. The desire to remain healthy, active, and present for your child’s milestones—their high school graduation, college years, wedding, and potentially their own children—provides powerful motivation for healthy lifestyle choices.

Many older mothers report that pregnancy and early parenthood motivated them to:

• Establish regular exercise routines to maintain strength and energy
• Improve nutritional habits setting good examples for children
• Schedule regular health screenings catching potential issues early
• Manage stress more effectively through meditation, therapy, or other practices
• Prioritize sleep and self-care recognizing their importance for long-term health

The physical demands of pregnancy and parenting at 40 make ignoring health impossible. The extra weight on aging joints, the energy required to chase toddlers, and the sleep deprivation force attention to physical wellbeing in ways that benefit long-term health outcomes.

6. Potential Cognitive Benefits for Children

Research published in the International Journal of Epidemiology found that children born to older mothers demonstrated better cognitive development and fewer behavioral and social difficulties at age 5 compared to children of younger mothers. The study, which controlled for various socioeconomic factors, suggested that the increased emotional maturity, financial resources, and educational advantages of older parents positively influenced child development.

Socioeconomic factors play a significant role here. Women at 40 typically have more established careers providing not just financial resources but also:

• Flexible work arrangements through seniority or career capital
• Better access to quality childcare and educational resources
• Time and energy for engaged parenting rather than constant survival mode
• Educational attainment and modeling of lifelong learning

Additionally, older parents often approach parenting with more intentionality, having made conscious choices about when and how to build their families rather than responding to accidental pregnancies or external pressure.

Medical Risks and Realities of Pregnancy at 40

Acknowledging advantages doesn’t require minimizing legitimate medical considerations. Understanding the specific risks associated with pregnancy at 40 allows you to make informed decisions and take appropriate precautions.

Decreased Fertility

Female fertility declines significantly beginning around age 32-35, with more dramatic decreases after 37. By age 40, the monthly chance of natural conception drops to approximately 5% per cycle, compared to 20-25% for women in their 20s.

This decline occurs due to two primary factors:

Reduced egg quantity: Women are born with a finite number of eggs that gradually depletes throughout reproductive years. By age 40, the ovarian reserve is substantially diminished compared to earlier decades.

Decreased egg quality: Remaining eggs are more likely to have chromosomal abnormalities as women age. These abnormalities reduce the likelihood of successful fertilization, implantation, and healthy embryo development.

For women struggling to conceive naturally, fertility treatments including IVF, egg donation, or other assisted reproductive technologies may be options, though success rates also decline with maternal age. Consulting a reproductive endocrinologist early in your conception journey can help you understand your specific fertility status and available options.

Increased Risk of Chromosomal Abnormalities

The most commonly discussed age-related risk is Down syndrome, caused by an extra copy of chromosome 21. The risk increases with maternal age:

• At age 25: approximately 1 in 1,250 births
• At age 35: approximately 1 in 400 births
• At age 40: approximately 1 in 100 births
• At age 45: approximately 1 in 30 births

Other chromosomal abnormalities including Edwards syndrome (Trisomy 18) and Patau syndrome (Trisomy 13) also increase with maternal age, though they occur less frequently than Down syndrome.

Modern prenatal screening has dramatically improved detection of chromosomal abnormalities early in pregnancy. Non-invasive prenatal testing (NIPT) can screen for common abnormalities through a simple blood test as early as 10 weeks of pregnancy. More definitive diagnostic tests like CVS or amniocentesis can confirm diagnoses if screening suggests increased risk.

These screening advances mean parents have more information earlier, allowing time to prepare for a child with special needs, connect with support resources, or make difficult decisions about continuing the pregnancy according to their values and circumstances.

Elevated Miscarriage Risk

Approximately 34% of clinically recognized pregnancies in women aged 40-44 end in miscarriage, compared to about 10% for women in their 20s. This elevated risk primarily stems from increased chromosomal abnormalities in embryos as eggs age.

For women experiencing recurrent miscarriages, genetic testing of miscarried tissue can help determine whether chromosomal abnormalities are the cause and inform decisions about future conception attempts or treatments.

Stillbirth risk also increases modestly with maternal age, though absolute risk remains low with appropriate prenatal monitoring. Increased surveillance during the third trimester, including additional ultrasounds and non-stress tests, helps identify potential complications before they become critical.

Pregnancy Complications

Several pregnancy complications occur more frequently in older mothers:

Gestational diabetes develops in approximately 8-9% of pregnancies overall but occurs more frequently in women over 35. This condition involves elevated blood sugar during pregnancy that typically resolves after delivery but requires dietary management, blood sugar monitoring, and sometimes medication during pregnancy. Uncontrolled gestational diabetes can lead to excessive fetal growth, birth complications, and increased risk of later type 2 diabetes for both mother and child.

Hypertensive disorders including gestational hypertension and preeclampsia are more common in pregnancies at advanced maternal age. Preeclampsia, characterized by high blood pressure and protein in urine typically developing after 20 weeks, affects approximately 5-8% of pregnancies, with higher rates in women over 40. Severe preeclampsia requires close monitoring and sometimes early delivery to protect both mother and baby. In rare cases, preeclampsia can progress to eclampsia (seizures) or HELLP syndrome, both potentially life-threatening conditions.

Placenta previa—where the placenta partially or completely covers the cervix—occurs more frequently in older mothers and in women who have had previous pregnancies or cesarean deliveries. This condition increases hemorrhage risk during delivery and typically necessitates cesarean birth.

Delivery Complications

Women over 40 have higher rates of:

• Cesarean delivery: Approximately 40-50% of first-time mothers over 40 deliver via cesarean section, compared to about 25% of mothers in their 20s. While some of this increase reflects medical necessity due to complications, some may result from providers’ increased caution with older mothers.
• Preterm birth: Babies born to mothers over 40 face modestly elevated risk of premature delivery (before 37 weeks), which can lead to respiratory issues, feeding difficulties, and longer NICU stays.
• Low birth weight or macrosomia: Both unusually small and excessively large babies occur more frequently, each carrying specific risks during delivery and early life.
• Prolonged labor: First stage of labor may progress more slowly in older mothers, increasing exhaustion and potential need for intervention.

Strategies for Healthy Pregnancy at 40

While you cannot eliminate age-related risks, specific actions significantly improve your chances of healthy conception, pregnancy, and delivery.

Preconception Planning

Consult a healthcare provider before attempting conception. A preconception appointment should include:

• Comprehensive health screening assessing chronic conditions like diabetes, hypertension, or thyroid disorders that need optimization before pregnancy
• Genetic counseling to understand your specific risks and screening options based on family history and ethnicity
• Medication review ensuring any prescription medications you take are safe during pregnancy or identifying alternatives
• Prenatal vitamin initiation beginning folic acid supplementation (at least 400 mcg daily) before conception reduces neural tube defect risk
• Immunization update ensuring rubella, varicella, and other vaccine immunity before pregnancy when live vaccines cannot be given

Optimize your health before conception:

• Achieve healthy weight: Both underweight and overweight status can complicate conception and pregnancy. If you need to lose weight, doing so before conception is safer than during pregnancy.
• Manage chronic conditions: Bringing diabetes, hypertension, thyroid disorders, or other conditions under control before pregnancy reduces complications.
• Address nutrition: Establish eating patterns rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats that you can maintain through pregnancy.
• Establish exercise habits: Regular physical activity improves fertility, pregnancy outcomes, and postpartum recovery.

Lifestyle modifications:

• Eliminate smoking: Smoking reduces fertility and increases miscarriage, preterm birth, and birth defect risks
• Limit alcohol: No safe alcohol level exists during pregnancy; stopping before conception is ideal
• Reduce caffeine: Limiting intake to 200mg daily (about one 12-ounce coffee) may improve fertility and reduce miscarriage risk
• Manage stress: Chronic high stress can affect fertility and pregnancy outcomes; develop coping strategies before conception

During Pregnancy Care

Enhanced prenatal monitoring provides early detection of potential complications:

• Early and regular prenatal visits: Beginning care as soon as pregnancy is confirmed and attending all scheduled appointments
• Comprehensive screening: Taking advantage of available genetic screenings and diagnostic tests to understand your baby’s health
• Additional ultrasounds: More frequent imaging to monitor fetal growth and development
• Specialist consultations: Working with maternal-fetal medicine specialists if complications arise

Nutrition and supplementation:

• Prenatal vitamins: Daily vitamins containing folic acid, iron, calcium, and DHA
• Balanced diet: Emphasizing nutrient-dense foods that support fetal development
• Adequate protein: Supporting fetal growth and maintaining maternal health
• Hydration: Drinking sufficient water throughout pregnancy
• Food safety: Avoiding high-risk foods like unpasteurized dairy, deli meats, high-mercury fish

Physical activity:

• Regular exercise: 150 minutes of moderate-intensity activity weekly unless contraindicated
• Strength training: Maintaining muscle mass and preparing body for delivery
• Flexibility work: Prenatal yoga or stretching to reduce discomfort
• Rest when needed: Balancing activity with adequate rest as energy fluctuates

Mental health support:

• Address anxiety and depression: Seeking help for mood concerns that can complicate pregnancy
• Stress management: Practicing relaxation techniques, meditation, or mindfulness
• Social support: Maintaining connections with supportive friends and family
• Realistic expectations: Understanding that pregnancy at any age involves challenges and uncertainty

Fertility Treatment Considerations

If natural conception proves difficult, assisted reproductive technology (ART) may help:

Fertility assessment should occur after 6 months of trying at age 40 (compared to 12 months for younger women), including:

• Ovarian reserve testing to evaluate egg quantity and quality
• Hormonal assessments
• Structural evaluation through imaging
• Partner sperm analysis

Treatment options depend on specific fertility challenges:

• Ovulation induction with medications if ovulation is irregular
• Intrauterine insemination (IUI) for mild male factor issues or unexplained infertility
• In vitro fertilization (IVF) offering the highest success rates, though declining with age
• Donor eggs providing younger eggs that significantly improve success rates
• Embryo genetic testing screening embryos for chromosomal abnormalities before transfer

Success rates for IVF decline significantly with maternal age. According to the CDC, live birth rates per egg retrieval for women using their own eggs are:

• Age 35-37: approximately 32%
• Age 38-40: approximately 22%
• Age 41-42: approximately 12%
• Age 43-44: approximately 5%

Using donor eggs from younger women results in success rates similar to the donor’s age rather than the recipient’s age, making this an effective option for women with diminished ovarian reserve.

Emotional and Psychological Considerations

Managing Societal Judgment

Unfortunately, pregnant women over 40 often face unsolicited comments, questions about planning, and thinly veiled criticism about their timing. Developing strategies to handle these interactions protects your emotional wellbeing:

Prepare responses to common intrusive questions:

• “Was this planned?” → “We’re very excited about this baby.”
• “Aren’t you worried about the risks?” → “We’re working closely with excellent healthcare providers.”
• “Will you have energy to keep up with a child?” → “We’re looking forward to the adventure.”

Set boundaries firmly with people who persist with judgment or unwanted advice. You don’t owe anyone detailed explanations about your reproductive choices.

Seek supportive communities including online groups for older mothers, local parenting groups that welcome diverse family configurations, and friends who celebrate your pregnancy without caveats.

Addressing Your Own Fears

Even if you feel confident in your decision, normal anxieties about pregnancy at 40 may arise:

Acknowledge legitimate concerns without catastrophizing. Yes, risks are elevated, but most pregnancies at 40 result in healthy babies and healthy mothers with appropriate care.

Focus on controllable factors including your healthcare engagement, lifestyle choices, and support system rather than fixating on statistics you cannot change.

Challenge “too old” narratives by remembering that historical maternal age norms reflected different social and medical contexts. Modern 40 is often healthier, more active, and better supported than historical comparisons.

Seek professional support if anxiety becomes overwhelming. Therapy specializing in pregnancy-related anxiety can help you develop coping strategies and maintain perspective.

Partner Dynamics

If parenting with a partner, ensuring you’re aligned on expectations becomes crucial:

Discuss division of labor including night duties, childcare responsibilities, career adjustments, and household management before the baby arrives. Don’t assume traditional patterns will work for your specific situation.

Address energy level realities honestly. You may both need to adjust expectations about social life, hobbies, and activities post-baby.

Plan for support including whether you’ll hire help, involve extended family, or navigate early parenthood primarily independently.

Maintain relationship focus by scheduling time together as partners, not just as parents, even when it feels impossible.

Financial Planning for Later Parenthood

While financial advantages exist for parents at 40, specific considerations require attention:

Long-Term Planning

College planning: Children born when you’re 40 will attend college when you’re approaching or in retirement. Starting 529 college savings plans early allows compound growth to build funds before you may be living on fixed retirement income.

Retirement adjustments: Factor childcare costs, potential reduced work hours, and extended years of supporting dependents into retirement planning. You may need to adjust retirement age or savings rates to accommodate parenting expenses during your 40s and 50s.

Life insurance: Ensure adequate coverage to support your child through adulthood if something happens to you. Term life insurance policies covering through your child’s college years provide affordable protection.

Estate planning: Establish wills, guardianship designations, and trusts ensuring your child is cared for according to your wishes if you die before they reach adulthood.

Healthcare Costs

High-deductible plans: Understanding your insurance structure helps you budget for prenatal care, delivery, and pediatric care costs.

Maternal-fetal medicine: Specialist consultations for high-risk pregnancies may not be fully covered by insurance.

Fertility treatment: If needed, IVF and related treatments are expensive and often not covered by insurance. Some states mandate coverage, but many don’t.

Postpartum recovery: Factor in potential extended recovery time or complications requiring additional medical attention.

Addressing Common Questions

What are realistic chances of conception at 40?

Natural conception probability is approximately 5% per cycle for healthy 40-year-old women. However, individual variation exists based on overall health, ovarian reserve, lifestyle factors, and partner fertility. Some women conceive quickly while others face challenges. If you haven’t conceived after 6 months of trying, consulting a fertility specialist provides clarity about your specific situation and available options.

Can you have a healthy pregnancy naturally at 40?

Yes, absolutely. While fertility declines and certain risks increase, the majority of healthy women at 40 can achieve pregnancy naturally and deliver healthy babies with appropriate prenatal care. Age is one factor among many affecting pregnancy outcomes—overall health status, lifestyle, genetics, and access to quality healthcare matter tremendously.

How can I improve egg quality at 40?

While you cannot reverse biological aging, certain lifestyle factors support optimal egg health:

Nutrition: Mediterranean-style diet rich in antioxidants, omega-3 fatty acids, whole grains, and lean proteins supports cellular health. Some research suggests benefits from:

• CoQ10 supplementation (after consulting your doctor)
• Vitamin D optimization if deficient
• Adequate folate from food and supplements

Lifestyle modifications:

• Maintaining healthy BMI
• Regular moderate exercise without overtraining
• 7-9 hours of quality sleep nightly
• Stress management through meditation, yoga, or therapy
• Eliminating smoking and excessive alcohol
• Limiting caffeine to moderate levels

Medical interventions: Some reproductive endocrinologists offer protocols including:

• DHEA supplementation for certain patients
• Growth hormone for specific infertility diagnoses
• Individualized vitamin and supplement protocols

Timing: Working with a fertility specialist sooner rather than later maximizes your window of opportunity.

Should I freeze my eggs?

If you’re approaching 40 but not yet ready to conceive, egg freezing may preserve younger eggs for future use. However, success rates for egg freezing decline significantly after age 38, and the process is expensive (typically $10,000-15,000 per cycle plus storage fees). Egg freezing works best as a proactive strategy in the early-to-mid 30s rather than as a solution at 40.

What about adoption or donor eggs?

Adoption provides a path to parenthood independent of biological fertility. Many older parents find adoption meaningful, and age 40 is well within the acceptable range for most adoption agencies and countries. However, adoption involves its own financial costs, waiting periods, and emotional journey.

Donor eggs from younger women dramatically improve IVF success rates, essentially resetting the biological clock to the donor’s age. This option suits women with diminished ovarian reserve or repeated failed IVF cycles with their own eggs. Success rates with donor eggs typically exceed 50% per transfer for women at 40.

Both options require careful consideration of emotional, financial, and practical implications. Neither is “second-best”—they’re different paths to the same destination of building your family.

Making Your Decision

Ultimately, the question isn’t whether having a baby at 40 is selfish—it’s whether it’s right for you. Only you can weigh the medical risks against the personal, financial, and emotional readiness factors that make this timing appropriate for your life.

Consider these questions as you reflect on your decision:

• Do you feel emotionally and psychologically ready for the demands of parenting?
• Is your financial situation stable enough to support a child?
• Do you have adequate support systems in place?
• If partnered, are you and your partner aligned on parenting approaches and responsibilities?
• Have you considered the medical risks and feel comfortable proceeding despite them?
• Can you access quality healthcare for prenatal care and potential fertility treatment?
• Have you addressed any health conditions that could complicate pregnancy?

If you answer these questions affirmatively, your age is simply one factor among many—not a disqualifying characteristic.

Trust yourself. Women have been making decisions about their bodies, their families, and their futures throughout human history. You possess the wisdom, information, and self-knowledge to make the right choice for your circumstances. Modern medicine has made pregnancy at 40 safer than ever before, while society increasingly recognizes that diverse family planning timelines are valid.

The “right time” to have a child isn’t determined by arbitrary age cutoffs—it’s when you genuinely want one and feel prepared to provide the love, stability, and resources that child deserves. For many women, that moment arrives in their 40s, and that timing is not selfish—it’s thoughtful, intentional, and perfectly valid.

Additional Resources

For more information on pregnancy at advanced maternal age, consult these reputable sources:

• American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) – Comprehensive information on pregnancy planning and prenatal care
• Society for Maternal-Fetal Medicine – Specialized guidance on high-risk pregnancies

Remember that information empowers decision-making, but individual circumstances vary tremendously. Work closely with healthcare providers who understand your specific situation rather than making decisions based solely on population-level statistics. Your pregnancy journey is uniquely yours, deserving of support, excellent care, and freedom from judgment regardless of when you choose to embark on it.